The thrill is gone
The nights are cold
For love is old...
-- Patrica Barber
What struck me during our recent break from chastity play was how flat everything felt eventually. Life consisted of work, more work, kids, sleep, a wank or two. Repeat. The break didn't start out that way of course; Lucy and I skated the afterglow for a few days and we had a few orgasms together, and even had a few times when I came and she didn't, and I admit it felt great after being denied for so long. But the balance was fragile, and all it took was a bit of stress (work for me, kids for her) and we quickly retreated into our own world. When I needed some satisfaction, and that's every day -- it's a stress response -- it was much easier to masturbate than to engage Lucy. And Lucy, well, she's the one with the kids all day and that can pretty much consume her.
It all came to a head when I spent 14+ hours one weekend watching all four NFL match-ups, by myself. No offense to football fans, but those are 14 hours I'll never get back. And no, I'm not peeved because of the Patriots disaster (fake punt near mid-field, with less than 2 minutes to go in the half, trailing 7-3? Really?). I like my sports, but in moderation. I only go on a couch-potato bender when I'm in the doldrums and can't be motivated to do anything even mildly useful.
So I started slipping back into the device and easing back into chastity, even though I knew I had a business trip coming up where I couldn't bring the Steelheart along. I had one last big hurray -- actually a few -- those nights alone in the hotel, and when I came home that burning desire to be locked was back in full force. That was last Saturday night, not coincidentally, when I started posting again, both this blog and on the forums.
Now a few days later, I can feel my mindset changing, on my way to Dev's Chastity Nirvana. (BTW, I can never see Nirvana without also thinking Smells Like Teen Spirit. OK, so that dates me. I don't care.) It really amazes me that I can hack my emotional state like this, with just a bit of metal between my legs.
I can't wait to go down on Lucy.