Sunday, November 28, 2010

Up and down

My Steelheart arrived last week and it's just the sexiest thing I've ever seen. I love the way it feels on my body, I love heft, the grip, the solid chunk of metal between my legs. And I love it that it's there all the time. Shiny!

My wife Lucy, however, didn't do any back flips over the device. It didn't even seem to rate a golf clap. This is someone whom I think of as my other half, and she just had an experience so different from mine about something that is so important to me. Well, it sent me into a funk. Couple this with a two week dry spell in our sex life that I thought was just so typical of her priorities -- when things get a little stressed with family life or with work, sex is the first thing that goes. She doesn't seem find solace in sex, and this is something that I find hard to understand. When the world closes in, why doesn't she find comfort in the intense intimacy that comes from being naked, wrapped around one another, skin-on-skin?

With chastity though, if you honor the idea that she has control over your sex life, it makes you talk, as there's no "fuck it, I don't need her." And that's what we did, talk, and even though voices were raised and I got a little hysterical at times, it was a talk, not a fight. And the next morning we both felt much better. We didn't really resolve anything, but having brought our differences into sharp relief (once again), we can see around the differences for the person we love. She woke me up by gently touching and squeezing my hand. We kissed deeply, connected, and I was back in the zone.


  1. Your wifes reaction seems to be fairly common. I think even among the wives that really enjoy their husbands being in chastity the thrill for them is in your behavior not in you being physically locked up. That is just how you get to the place where your behavior has changed (for them). For you (and me, and many others) the physical device is a very important part of being in chastity. In some ways it actually becomes a replacement for your cock. It is the only thing you can grab a hold of.


  2. I don't know how old your children are, but they are youngish, right? When our kids were young (and young went on for a long time), even I, the woman of the great libido, tended to lose interest in sex when work and childrearing became stressful. I don't think women find solace in sex. We find solace in intimacy and cuddling. When men make sexual overtures, a lot of the time the thought is, "Ai yi yi, more work." So...chastity does change all that, of course, but it sounds like Lucy hasn't fully embraced that realization. Give her time because it takes time and a fair amount of relearning has to occur.

    Congrats on the Steelheart. So glad to hear you are loving it.


  3. Hi Atone,

    I regularly ask Lucy what she likes best about keeping me chaste, and "I like the attention" is invariably her answer. And it's true, I generally behave like a puppy in love...


  4. Hi Dev,

    Our kids are two and four, a lovely age. Said without irony. Ok, said with a teeny bit of irony. :) It's reassuring to know that YOU too went through this phase.

    We do touch and cuddle quite a bit, here and there through out the day, and often on the couch relaxing out after the day is done. This will lead to me wanting to bed her though, which now means just me getting her off, so why wouldn't she want to go there, and often? I'm still trying to accept that intimacy is most of the time all that she wants, and not necessarily any form of sex ... it's difficult as my libido is raging as ever.